These wild Mamas needed to get in one last hoorah before their babies came earth side. Who can blame them? Once we become mothers our lives are taken over by our tiny new additions. Some went shopping and some just straight out got their freak on. I say, hell yeah! So let’s give it up for the ladies who put their inhibitions aside and let their naughty side come out to play one last time.
We never know when or where it’s going to happen so why should we put our lives on hold until the baby arrives. Forget the shaming of Mom’s who work until they burst. Forget the birth plan and the relaxing nature sounds. Let’s crank up a little Eminem and listen to some music that we actually like because we will be doing all of the work and their certainly won’t be any relaxation going on. Screw the he-he-who breathing. Let out that blood curdling scream. Hey we were screaming when they were conceived.
We are not censoring ourselves anymore. We do labor our own way. Bring the xbox, download the Pokemon Go App, and you better believe we are going to laugh our asses off when our birth partners pass out.
These ladies confess how they did labor their own way.
15 Risky Business
This couple must have amazing physical chemistry. They wanted each other so bad they took the final opportunity to get their freak on before the 6 weeks of healing and no hanky panky. There’s also that old wives’ tale that sex brings on labor so maybe this couple thought that getting busy would speed things up and bring their little bundle into the world faster. That’s pretty exciting that they felt wild enough to throw caution to the wind and show each other physical affection with the knowledge that someone could walk in at any moment. I bet these two are thrill seekers. Or else maybe the Mama was completely stressed and just needed a release. Many of us feel much better after we climax and our men know it.
14 No Screaming Allowed
I would be miffed about this too. If we are screamers we should be able to freely scream during childbirth. No one should be telling us what sounds we should be making while our baby is tunneling through our V. This Mama was told to calm down. How was she supposed to calm down? She was bringing her child into this world. If this is not exciting I do not know what is. I saw screw what anyone else thinks. We are the ones on the table giving birth. We are experiencing the contractions. We are tearing. We are anticipating. We are letting complete strangers gaze into our very private parts to assist with our delivery. We will make whatever noises we please.
13 Hospitals Are Overrated
What’s up with the #BadParent? That is super judgmental. Many women are getting their groove on and dancing as a way to induce labor. Who cares if she’s dancing at her home or a club? The fun time is probably good for her. As long as she’s not consuming any alcohol or using any drugs than there’s no reason why a pregnant Mama can’t be in the club dancing her cares away. It will also make for a great labor story to tell for years to come. Of course any woman at a club needs her friends to make the night complete. Let’s stop putting more restrictions on Mamas than they already have. Let’s rally around our pregnant friends and celebrate the end of a very long nine months.
12 8 Times And Counting
Aww poor guy. At least he hung in there after passing out eight times. You’d think that he may have someone tap him out like his mother-in-law or another female relative. Nope, this guy was in it for the long haul. That says a lot about his dedication to his woman and his child. It’s cool that the Mama and midwife had a good sense of humor about it. It may have freaked everyone out the first couple of times but after it kept happening I can imagine that as long as hubby isn’t hitting his head and he is out of the way of danger that his repetitive passing out would have become funny in a way. It may have lightened the mood of a stressful labor.
11 Time Is Money
Working until the baby is born is a smart decision. Who wants to waste their maternity leave on the end of our pregnancy? Pregnant women receive a lot of special perks in the workplace. Many times their workload is lightened and the bosses are more lenient due to obvious reasons. Hey if we need the money we need the money. There’s no shame in that. We may want to finish up a project or tie up some loose ends before we go on maternity leave. Once contractions start we need to start timing them and making sure that when the time comes to start pushing that we are ready and waiting at the hospital. Props to all the Mamas who take care of business so that after the baby is born all of their attention can be focused on baby.
10 Just Hold It In
Sure thing boss. We can hold that baby in as long as we please. If those pesky contractions are bothering us, who cares? If our water breaks while we are in the middle of giving a presentation, we will mop it up after the meeting is over. If our baby gets delivered on the floor of our office without proper medical care, then that’s even better. We won’t have to miss a second of work. We can just call our nanny and keep on working. Why would we even think for a second that the wellbeing of our family would come before completing that last conference call. Look crazy bosses, back off. Babies come when they are good and ready unless they are induced. There is no way to “hold it in.” No, maternity leave doesn’t start Monday, it starts today, no matter how much notice we receive.
9 Please Stand Up
Props to this Mama for staying true to who she is and what she likes. If Eminem gives her the motivation to push then it’s only fitting that she was listening to, “The Real Slim Shady.” We all do whatever works for us. So many Mama’s lose part of their true identity when we have children. Faking it gets old really fast. Being authentic to who we truly are and what we truly like will keep us sane. There is a whirlwind of change that takes over when we have kids. Making sure to listen to our favorite music, enjoy our favorite hobbies, spend time with our favorite people at our favorite places will make us better parents for our children. We not only have to take care of our children we also need to take care of ourselves.
Oh my goodness. Men smh…I hear there are some good reasonable men out there but I have yet to encounter one. Maybe it was the middle of the night so the guy dozed off. Hopefully he didn’t just pop some sleeping pills and hope to be woken when it was time for the final push. Maybe he was on some other type of drug that knocked him out. Heroin users nod off while they are in the middle of doing things. He could have been recovering from a wild night of partying. Maybe he flat out just didn’t care. He wanted to go to sleep and wake up to find this whole baby nightmare he was having was just a dream. This guy sounds selfish and the fact that he was dozing off and complaining about himself shows his lack of support. Not Cool!
7 Priorities In Check
Yeah, so what? A lot of parents are induced so it will, “fit in their schedule better.” Some doctors’ offices have multiple doctors on staff. If it is close to the delivery date and we want a specific doctor, we can plan to be induced when we know our preferred doctor will be at the hospital. Who knows what people have going on in their lives. If the baby is fully developed and the doctor gives the greenlight for an induction there is no shame in being induced for personal reasons. Maybe this woman’s husband couldn’t get any paternity leave and he wanted to be there for his wife and newborn. They could have scheduled the induction right before a holiday weekend so Daddy could be there. What matters is that Mama and baby are safe and healthy.
6 What Really Goes In The Uber
This Mama shopped until she popped. Way to freak out the Target staff. I wonder if her water broke on the floor. Way to freak out an Uber driver. I wonder if her water broke in the back of his car. Walking and mild exercise are great for inducing labor so this woman got her shop on and induced labor at the same time. During the final countdown for our baby to arrive we can think of so many things that we may need at the hospital and when we return home. Once we start walking through Target the list gets longer and longer. This happens to me every time I set foot in Target, pregnant or not. I all of a sudden remember that I need a new pillow, or bra, or PJ’s, or makeup. When we are preparing for our first child we have no clue what we will actually need so we just get it all. Everything seems like a necessity.
5 Double The Fun
Way to celebrate Labor Day in style. I had my twins on Labor Day weekend and it was great. There was barely anyone in the maternity wing. No one wants to plan a caesarian for a holiday. My babies and I had the undivided attention of the hospital staff and had excellent care. Labor day will always be a special day for this family to remember. It’s not an over the top time of gift giving unlike other holidays where kids feel like their birthday gets overshadowed by the other celebrations. Her husband thought it was hilarious that his wife had a Labor Day baby. At least he was laughing and he wasn’t freaking out. We all could use a good laugh when the big moment arrives.
4 Where’s Pikachu?
I am loving these couples who are keeping things light and not freaking out. Are there Pokemon’s there? Of course there are. You know there are numerous Pokemon stops on the way to the hospital also. Hey, way to keep the stress level low and the feelings of togetherness high. I know some couples who are totally into the Pokemon thing. Let’s hope that Mama was just as into it as Daddy was. We don’t need a pissed off Mama. On the other hand, if this Mama is not into collecting Pokemon then I could see her getting a little pissed off. It’s only one of the biggest moments of her life. She is entering into motherhood and her boyfriend still has his head in the clouds.
3 We Smell A Lawsuit
Go to a different hospital. Use the doctor who is on call. Don’t waste your time plotting post-delivery revenge on all who made you labor for 4 days without any assistance. Take matters into our own hands. If we are not being heard, we need to speak louder. If we are not being seen, we need to demand to be seen or go elsewhere. 4 days is a long time to labor at home. It’s a long time to be in labor anywhere. Save the lawsuit. It will just add unnecessary stress. Go somewhere where we feel comfortable with the care that is being given. Two weeks before my twins were born I asked for my files to be transferred to another OBGYN. My doctor was so concerned about me that he set up a meeting for us to discuss my concerns and make sure that he could provide me with the care that I needed.
2 Background Music
As long as he was sharing with Mama, no harm no foul. Sometimes we are laboring for days. We all need something to help pass the time. If not, we will all go stir crazy. Playing video games, watching TV, messing around on social media, are all entertaining ways to pass some time. In the old days it was crossword puzzles and Sudoku. Some of us are just more up to date with technology than others. This couple sounds perfect for each other. We’ve all heard that saying that, “A couple who plays together, stays together.” Some couples choose to pass their time having randy relations. Some whip out the Pokemon Go. Others listen to rap and dance in their hospital rooms.
1 Clean Up On The Church Aisle
Oh sister! She certainly did not mean to steal her sister’s spotlight on her big day but the Preggo sure did. Now we all know that the pregnant sister didn’t have control of when or where she would go into labor. It’s not her fault that her baby decided to make an appearance at the exact same time as his aunt’s wedding. At least she feels bad and hopes her sister doesn’t hate her for all of eternity. As far as the bride, I bet she is disappointed that yes her sister did steal the spotlight on one of the most important days of her life. Some women dream of their wedding day from the time they are little girls. This is a wedding and a birth that no one in the family will forget.