Is it okay to snoop on your partner? Depending on the person, it’s an acceptable action. Just Google it. Men and women are different, and that’s alright.
It’s normal to be curious about a person you just met or surf the web to confirm facts shared by someone you don’t know very well. But there are some situations in which innocent snooping has an effect on a developing relationship between a couple. For example, a woman is dating a man, and he accidentally leaves his phone at her place. If she opens the lock screen and starts tapping buttons to check out the texts and phone calls, is that going too far? Yes, she should think about things before making the decision to snoop. Atypical social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn are acceptable, but there’s a line you shouldn’t cross when it comes to finding out information. The biggest risk of snooping is it can destroy the built-up trust between the parties, and that’s difficult to re-establish in a relationship.
There are a lot of women who have gone to great lengths to snoop on their significant others. If she has to do such a thing, she doesn’t trust her partner completely. Of course, this doesn’t mean that the man can get away with everything, but it’s a positive indicator that the woman has insecurities and trust issues. Trust goes a long way in a relationship. Yet, some women continue to snoop, and they’ve shared their shocking confessions on Reddit. Here are 15 of those confessions.
15. Borderline Snoop
It’s not proper to snoop in someone else’s home, but there are women who continue to look for private information based on their gut feelings, and it’s an unnecessary thing to do.
A Reddit user wrote, “I do it, but I don’t think it’s in a sneaky way. I don’t snoop through things, but if he gets a call while he’s in another room or something, I’ll check it and shout something along the lines of ‘Hey ______ is calling do you want me to answer it?’ The same applies for texts, if I know he’s expecting to hear from someone. I don’t just go through it opening random emails and texts, though.”
She added, “I’m a girl, we’ve been together almost 6 months. If he wanted to cheat on me, I’m pretty sure he would just let me know we were over.” This statement makes perfect sense. Hopefully, this couple is still together.
14. Walk On Eggshells
Sometimes, it’s better to walk out of a relationship than to walk on eggshells just because a female friend is trying to tear your relationship apart.
A Reddit user wrote, “Female here. I dated someone for a long time and checked his phone often. He’s the only one I did that to aside when I was asked to grab something from the phone or answer a text. I wasn’t even worried about cheating. He had a snarky female friend who decided she hated me for being younger than her and had feelings for him once we got together. She would say awful things and he would avoid confrontation and ignore her, and I always wanted to know what she was saying. I hated that I did it and eventually left, despite the fact that she had stopped and I had stopped caring, but I knew I wouldn’t trust him to make her respect our relationship if it started again.”
She added, “After it all ended she realized she only wanted what someone else had and it never went anywhere regardless so she tried to destroy us for no reason.”
13. In-law Tensions
The irony was priceless in a particular comment even though it wasn’t written by a woman. Regardless of your gender, you need to be friendly towards your in-laws and respect them. Avoid being a hypocrite at all costs. Finding out information about someone calling you nosy after a prying attempt basically defines hypocrisy.
A male Reddit user wrote, “True story: My wife, just after we got married, went ape-sh*t because she read a text on my phone from my sister calling her “nosy.” It was so amazing I couldn’t even be mad.”
Two wrongs don’t make a right. You shouldn’t harm a person who has harmed you. You also shouldn’t do something wrong and then call someone out for negative reasons. A second bad thing doesn’t abandon the first. Trust is important in a relationship, and that includes giving respect to your in-laws because family is one of the best gifts in life.
12. One Time Action
A Reddit user wrote, “I did it once and won’t be doing it again. It almost ended the relationship. Basically, all I found was banter with him and his best friend. It was a bit overly friendly. But there was nothing actually wrong and I guess having read it I can believe him when he says there’s nothing going on (at least physically) so I got that going for me. However, I still get insecure and jealous about it, even though I know that if he was having the same conversations with a male best friend, I wouldn’t care.”
She added, “TL;DR if you have an overactive imagination and jealous/insecure tendencies, the worst thing you can do is read msgs, they can be easily misconstrued.”
11. Not A Big Deal
Snooping may be morally incorrect, but this live-in girlfriend of a man doesn’t think it’s a bad thing. Surprisingly, her boyfriend allows her to move the applications on his phone. We guess you could say that’s true love.
A Reddit user wrote, “I’ll look at his stuff and organize his apps sometimes, or when my phone is dead I’ll text/call our friends if needed. Which means I’ve taken a glance at things on his phone, but it’s not a big deal for either of us. I have no suspicions really, and he has nothing to hide, so it’s not an ‘invasion of privacy’ or anything like that. I consider it similar to looking into his sock drawer, which is full of socks, as one would expect. It’s not too exciting either way. Oh, and just for perspective purposes, I’m 23/f, he’s 31/m, we’ve been dating for 4 years, living together for 3 years.”
While it’s obvious that you shouldn’t let the past affect your present relationship, some people have a harder time coming to terms with a breakup for whatever reason it may be.
A Reddit user wrote, “As a chick who was blindsided and cheated on by the guy she was living with and thought she was going to marry, my confidence in my ability to accurately judge character is pretty shaky right now. You can be a super great guy but I’m still gonna wonder if you’re f*cking me over, at least in the early stages of our relationship. So, is there a temptation to just check your phone in order to be able to stop worrying already? Sure.”
She added, “It’s not about something being “wrong” in our relationship that makes me suspicious of you, it’s just that I was with a guy who said all the right things and totally made me believe he was 100% crazy for me and he still turned out to be a scumbag, so at this point, objective information is really the only thing that puts me at ease. :\”
9. Another Case Of PTSD
A Reddit user wrote, “You know, I used to almost every day. I was with someone who had completely betrayed my trust on more than multiple occasions and I was too naive to get out of the relationship. I would check his phone, computer, and any other device almost daily. It became a f*cking obsession. I would snoop, find something incriminating, b*tch at him for it, get a half-as*ed apology from him, then do it all over again. Rinse and repeat. I feel sick when I think about how psychotic I became by the end of that relationship. I’m fairly certain that I went through PSTD after we broke up, actually.”
To make a long story short, if you can’t trust your partner, then why stick around with that person? You should be able to trust someone enough to give him/her the privacy that he/she deserves. Never intrude on that person’s personal life outside of the relationship.
8. Only When It Beeps
In most instances, a female has different priorities as opposed to her male counterparts. This woman admits to snooping around on her husband’s phone, but she clearly knows how to stay in her lane, like a legitimate wife should. Marriage isn’t a game where one hopes to win a prize, but she’s being a wife first, so her entire family can win in the end. More power to her.
A Reddit user wrote, “Only if it beeps. Then I’ll check my husband’s phone to see if it’s something I can handle (a question from his sister, his mom calling, etc.) or something worth tracking him down to deal with quickly (text from a coworker, urgent request from a friend).”
She added, “Also, if his phone is handy and I’m bored, I’ll browse his Facebook feed. It’s always interesting reading up on what his cousins and old college friends are up to.”
7. Depends On The Situation
Apparently, one of the so-called of laws of snooping turns out to depend on the situation. The degree to which women feel the need to check their partners’ phones could be influenced by the circumstances at the time. It’s either right or wrong, so it’s all about the trust in the relationship.
A Reddit user wrote, “It really depends. I’ll answer the phone if his mom or siblings are calling because I know he appreciates not missing calls from them. I don’t check his texts or go looking through conversations because I trust him and respect his privacy. I feel like even though we live together and share most everything, we both deserve some privacy even though there’s nothing to hide. I would be upset if I found him going through my text conversations, internet history, purse/wallet, etc., and I wouldn’t do that to him. I think it shows mutual trust in our relationship.”
6. Every Now And Then
Unless you don’t have a cellphone, snooping can’t be avoided 100 percent of the time. Now, before you assume all women check out their partners’ phones because they think that their partners cheating on them, think again. Sometimes, she might just be curious and want to be in the loop with her man and his personal life.
A Reddit user wrote, “I have no reason to but I will sometimes look at the text if his alert goes off and it’s near me. Usually, that’s just out of pure curiosity and it’s either something about video games from his brother or a link from Reddit from someone else.”
We’re all guilty of a little snooping every now and then, but it’s likely harmless if a woman simply looks at her man’s phone because it’s near her, and she’s curious to know what’s going on. In cases like these, it’s not an invasion of privacy.
5. Jurassic Park
As you may already know, Jurassic Park is a game that’s available on Google Play for Android and App Store for Apple. It’s based on the science-fiction adventure film Jurassic Park, so you can experience the exact same interactive thrilling journey in the form of a mobile app. Gameloft created the game in 2010. It focuses on Alan Grant and Ian Malcolm, who explore Isla Nublar and defeat poachers as well as rogue dinosaurs. It also focuses on action, exploration, and infiltration. As seen on its loading screen, the game claims to be Jurassic Park IV.
Here’s a clever response from a Reddit user in a thread. She wrote, “I’m a female and if my SO leaves his phone around, I only go and see his rank on Jurassic Park.” There’s a possibility that this couple is in their late teens or early 20’s, but we’ll never know their actual ages unless they reveal them.
4. Alcohol In The Way
Not from a woman’s point of view, but this man’s comment was still worth noting in this scandalous list.
A male Reddit user wrote, “My brother’s wife just did this yesterday. She woke him up the morning after he had gone out to a few bars. She had his phone in her hand and was demanding to know who Mikah (saying Mee-Kah) is. He had added a new number, then called it so Mikah could have his number. He was hungover and a bit confused until he realized her mistake and said, ‘You mean Mikah (like Mike-ah)?’ She got all embarrassed and he teased her about it all day but told me he was really weirded out that she had gone through his phone like that.”
Alcohol can form parts of social gatherings, but they can also affect romantic relationships. If you’re an alcoholic or a recovering addict, get some help to ensure that it doesn’t affect yours. You don’t want to be adding random numbers to your phone and calling them to deal with your lady snooping the night before.
3. 24/7 With Permission
There are many reasons for a person not to snoop, but like any other controversial action, people’s opinions can range from “absolutely not okay” to “perfectly fine.” One’s beliefs on snooping may not influence who they are as a person.
A Reddit user wrote, “We use each other’s phones indiscriminately. Neither of us is looking for anything or hiding anything, so I wouldn’t call it “checking.” We just pick up whichever phone is handy several times a day.”
For some women, snooping is just an indirect way to keep up with their men’s lives. Men can also do the same thing with their ladies’ phones if they’d like. Of course, it may cause more harm than good, but as long as both parties are aware of the usage of the phones in the home, everything should be alright. Today’s technology offers a plethora of opportunities for people to check up on each other, so this action should certainly be used with permission.
2. Desire For Naughty Content
Men aren’t the only ones dealing with p*rn addiction. On the contrary, women also deal with such issues.
A Reddit user wrote, “I only check his phone to see if he has any good p*rn saved.”
While p*rn can help both genders become s*xually competent, it also has several negative effects. Besides snooping, it can rock the solid foundation of trust that relationships are built on. It’s a sneaky behavior that can leave a person wanting more and going to extreme lengths to view movies for their own personal entertainment. It’s basically like a third wheel in a relationship. After a period of time, one of the partners can lose interest in the bedroom and long to be alone, just to watch graphic tapes. This can lead to betrayal trauma—a distressing experience that’s usually followed by emotional and physical shock—which has a tendency to manifest like a virus in a relationship.
1. Continuous Pattern
What does being in a committed marriage mean? Look no further for the answer.
A Reddit user wrote, “My husband and I read stuff from each other’s phones constantly. It’s not even remotely a secret, and we do it right in front of each other. He’ll be driving and he’ll ask me, “Hey, will you open up my email and tell me if I have any messages?” Or I’ll be busy doing something else around the house, and I’ll go, “Hey, my phone just beeped. Will you tell me if I have any notifications?” Or one of us will go to pull up Google Maps on the other person’s phone and just casually check all the notifications to clear the phone display.”
She added, “I can’t imagine having something in my life be so secret that I need to actively prevent my spouse from checking my phone. Similarly, I can’t imagine him having something so secret in his life that I wouldn’t be welcome to read it. I suppose the catch here is that neither of us will just randomly grab the other person’s phone for no reason. It’s always in the context of doing something else, usually something we’ve been asked to do or agreed to do. But I don’t think that makes much of a difference. I wouldn’t just randomly grab an object that belongs to him and use it without asking, but that doesn’t mean that the object is a secret from me.”